Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
we're making bets on your personal life
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
