It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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