Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
