well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
