I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
