Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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