My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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