well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
