So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
