Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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