I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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