I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
