You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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