okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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