i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Someone signed my nipple.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
