She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize