my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
