id be glad to
I look better un-naked...
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
