My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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