I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
