Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize