Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
