I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
