Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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