Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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