just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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