We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
