Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
