Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
