You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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