what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
