The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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