we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize