It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize