I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
