dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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