jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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