Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
