Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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