i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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