Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Randomize
