i think my mom watched the whole time
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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