does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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