haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
