She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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