just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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