I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
