Three words: puerto rican gang bang
too bad you live with your parents still
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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