Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
