Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
