i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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