I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
