smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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