She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I wear drunk well.
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