New invention idea: vibrating tampons
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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