She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
