Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
