Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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