My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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