i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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