Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize