It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm at about main and main street
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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