Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
